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instead of breathing,
air pushes its way inside
and i can only drive it out
for a moment
before it charges in again
and fills unwilling
lungs,
forces them to expand out
like wings stretching
into sky and sun
a rush of air
that violates a sacred space
and takes its place--
sets up camp
nice and easy
near my heart
and i'm so tired
i can't evict it
like i want,
i just can't breathe
when winter comes.
days like these
mope mope mope 
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I can see already
the woman you'll find someday--
I can just barely make her out
so far away still,
but even from a distance
I can see she's beautiful.

When you come to me
with those eyes I've looked
into through sun and rain,
those eyes I've watched
fill with fury and joy,
worry and wonder--
when those eyes shine
with some new light
that isn't mine,
when they glow
with a question you don't know
you're trying to ask,
I'll see what you need
(you were never mine
to keep)
and I'll love her completely
so that you can do that too.
If I had a son, I'd say
I like the concept, but it did really highlight the need for more gender-neutral language,  because i also would have the exact same sentiment for anyone that my child chose as a partner, regardless of where on the gender-spectrum they were. it'll take some reworking, probably.
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I'm a child of the earth--
made from mud that's
thick and cold--
I catch sunlight in my hair
but I have winter in my bones
and moss under my tongue
and further down below
a thorny thicket grows
between my legs, I hide
shadows behind my knees
I have twigs between my toes
I whisper in the quiet
things that everybody knows:
that everybody loves a clearing--
I wish I was one of those.
everybody loves a clearing
sometimes it's easy to just feel like a piece of work. looking forward to spring.
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Christmas days will come
and pass and come again,
and bring all manner of things--
sometimes a whole family.
some will pass on the floor with
vegan smells and cross-legged
friends who are beginning
to find themselves.
There will be those
that seem only a reminder
of absences that your heart
hasn't worn the sharp
corners from yet;
some will arrive
all lights and shine--
and there will be constant
triumphs and failures--
perfect recipes,
faltering health,
all the joy and sorrow
humanness demands.
But always there is
a moment hidden,
maybe while you straighten
your sweater, or stand at the sink
peeling an orange,
there comes the quiet--
the gentle connection to all
your past years, the delicate
thread to all the hearts
in other rooms, on other days--
a sweet low hum like a note
thrummed on a golden string,
whose resonance makes space
for you here and now,
and how you were,
and how you will be
and Christmas days will pass,
and quiet moments with them,
but they come,
and come again.
i would tell her,
full feelings are more than
anyone can manage,
and time is better spent
on practical pursuits
because she's inherited
a gypsy spirit
that can't be satisfied
by a hundred sunrises
or the sound of rain on the roof
by the smell of mud after winter
or music notes in any order.

i would tell her,
your life is not your own
it belongs to each thing you love
and you will love each thing
if you aren't careful--
you will love the sunset
and the sound of trains
the smell of leaves before winter
and every line of poetry--
but all those things you love
are things that are leaving you,
and you will feel them go
like they are pieces of
your own heart going,
and loneliness
will be a place-holder
for each thing.

i would teach her,
be satisfied with arm's length
because it's safer there,
that sometimes
the good really isn't worth
the bad, and almost never
the indifference that
you'll learn to expect from
a world that spins with you,
or without.

but in the restless nighttimes
that leave me empty and
electric
i would whisper to her,
fire is beautiful
even when it flares and turns
to ash in a moment--
life will look like
a kaleidoscope
if you can let it
inside--you will ignite
but you won't burn up--
you'll light up like
the morning.
If I had a daughter
not sure of the ending. not too sure of the whole thing, really. it's another one that i like conceptually, but i'm not super confident in the execution. 
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deviantID

nicolemonique
nicole
United States
Current Residence: Nashville, TN
I never know how people feel about getting a million billion comments thanking them for favoriting work i've done, so typically i abstain, and just post a journal about it every once in a while. so here's another one!
truly, outside support of stuff i write still feels like a special treat or like some sort of reward from the universe--it's a wonderful feeling to have people interested in a facet of my life so inherent to the thing that makes me me.
thank you so much.

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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Professional Writer
Thanks very much for faving my work. I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Professional Writer
Thanks very much for the fave. I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconnicolemonique:
nicolemonique Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015
my pleasure, truly.
Reply
:iconkittyangelprincess:
kittyangelprincess Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Hello! I love your work, you're very talented!
Could you check out my work too? I just started a super low low price bid on ebay for an original acrylic painting of a fantasy fairy!
Find it here:
www.ebay.com/itm/141402702977?…

You dont even have to buy, im grateful for even just a view  :D
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013   Writer
thanks for the :+fav: on personal liberty
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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Professional Writer
:iconthankyouscript1::iconthankyouscript2::iconthankyouscript3::iconla-plz:
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:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   Writer
congrats on the DD!
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:iconnicolemonique:
nicolemonique Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
thank you! it was the best surprise!
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:iconnui2:
nui2 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
thanks :blowkiss:
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:iconbeeinthebottle:
beeinthebottle Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Writer
:heart:
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